


The Tale Of Leg-Waxing And Cute Boys

by orphan_account



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: I can't do humor guys, M/M, anyway, dont read, i cant, im sorry, teach me how to be funny pls, this is almost hilariously pitiful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-11 14:55:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5630593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler looses a bet with his lovely friend, Jenna.</p><p>Now he has to face the consequences.</p><p>Red hair, cute ass, leg wax, blue nail consequences.</p><p>Shit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Tale Of Leg-Waxing And Cute Boys

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiii again|
> 
> So I can't write humor AT ALL I am a dramatic actress I am not funny EVER humor ISN'T MY KIND OF PRODUCE THING.
> 
> I have also never been to a spa.
> 
> But I'm posting this anyway sorry in advance.

  
    There are some people you just don't make bets with. It's, like, an unspoken law.

  
Tyler should've realized this years ago, being friends with Jenna for...ever.  
And he did. But, of course, he didn't heed is own warning.

Mainly because he's a stubborn little shit.

Either way, he just had to end up kissing Mark in a game of drunk spin the bottle. Which was "Fate!" According to a giggly Jenna, but "Impossible!" To a stupid, stubborn Tyler. Not to mention "Disgusting." To an annoyed Mark.

Disgusting to everyone, honestly.

Anyway, that lead Jenna to make a bet: if Tyler's bottle landed on Mark, Tyler has to have a full "beauty day," including spa, waxing, nails, massages... The whole 9 yards.  
If Tyler doesn't kiss Mark, Jenna buys his lunch for a week.

Poor Mark didn't even have a say.

Tyler honestly thought he would win. I mean, there were 14 other people there.  
14!  
And of all people in that damn game he had to kiss the one person to cause him his lunch.  
(In both cases.)

Screw Jenna. Screw making bets with Jenna.

Screw making _drunk_ bets with Jenna.

And now he has to get hair ripped off his legs because of his stubborn idiocy.

 _Fantastic_.

-____\\\|i|//____-

Tyler groans.

"You have to be kidding me, Jenna."

"Nope! Ty, it's really fun, okay? I swear."

"Jenna. Last time I checked, fun wasn't some old Asian woman making rude comments on my sexuality, surrounded by a bunch of 40-year-old cut-throat Catholics."

"You'll be in a room alone with the beautician, Tyler. And maybe instead of an old Asian woman it could be your young handsome Asian prince!"

" _Jenna_."

"Oh come on Ty, lighten up." She nudged him and raised her voice seven octaves. "Look, we're here!"

Tyler groans again. "Please turn around."

"Nope!" She replies, so cheerfully that Tyler swears he got a migraine.

"I hate you."

"I hate me too, sweetheart."

After they pull in and park, Tyler making six more unsuccessful pleas to _PLEASE_ let her take the appointment, let him wait in the lobby, they finally walk in and...

Not gonna lie.

_It smelled hella good._

"Can I help you two?"

Said the kind little old Asian woman.

_Ha! Told you!_

"Yes ma'am! Appointment for Tyler Joseph." Jenna replied, elbowing Tyler slightly, who was blushing and suddenly very interested in the ground.

Little Old Asian Woman smiled kindly, but when Tyler looked up he swore he saw a glimmer mischief in her eyes. "Right this way!"  
  
She lead Tyler, alone, to a room in the back, completed with a massage chair, a large desk-probably for nails- a chair and the one thing Tyler did NOT want to see.

Two little bowls of warm wax.

However, when he saw the the extremely sexy Asian man setting up the previously stated, Tyler decided the man made up for the two little blue bowls of pain.

Well, technically, he saw the extremely sexy Asian man's ass. But then the ass turned around and hey, the ass had a face, and damn, the face was adorable.

Just then, the little old Asian woman popped up literally out of nowhere.  
"I'm glad to finally meet you, Mr. Joseph, Miss Black's said so much about you!"

All Tyler can think about are two things:

_Why is Jenna talking about me to little old Asian women?_

And

_Pleasedon'tletitbehimpleasepleasePLEASE_

While we're at it, also the question everyone asks themselves at least once:

_Do all old Asian women teleport?_

"Anyway, Mr. Joseph, this is Josh. he's new, but highly talented, and will be taking care of you today!" She adds, in her classic old Asian woman voice.

Tyler finally makes eye contact with Josh, hoping he can't hear his heartbeat in the empty room.

Tyler was so wrapped up in his thoughts he almost didn't notice Josh stick his hand out to shake, but he did. Thankfully.

"I'll leave you to it!" She said with a smirk, and then she was gone.

A few moments of silence passed before Josh finally spoke.

"Right! Well, I'll go grab the things while you get undressed-"

"What?" Tyler squeaked.

_Undressed? No no no no._  
_No thanks.  
Can I have the old lady back, please?_

(Also, Josh's voice was sexy as hell.)

(But that's besides the point.)

Josh raised an eyebrow.

  
"For your massage?"

  
Maybe it was Tyler's imagination, but he could've sworn he saw the FAINTEST blush on Josh's cheeks.

"Oh, right. Yeah. Sorry. I, um"  
Tyler squeaked, again.

_Gosh, get it together Tyler, you sound like a kitten._

_Maybe Josh likes kittens_...

He was cut from his thoughts again with Josh's laugh.  
(A glorious laugh, at that.)

  
"You're new, huh?"

Tyler nodded, shyly. "Hey, it's okay, guys normally are. Anyway, your robe is over there, and while you do that I'll get the oil and shit ready. Good?"

"Great. Thanks."

Josh nodded his head and walked out of the room. Tyler did what he was told  
and sat on the table, playing Angry Birds on his phone. And he was totally _not_ shaking from nerves or embarrassment. Totally.

Josh walked in with a cute, organized little basket and two towels.

"Alright, let's get this show on the road. Go ahead and lie face-down on the table, with your face here and your feet here. Oh, and undo your robe too."

He must've seen Tyler's blush, because he added,

"You don't have to take it off all the way, just off your arms. Then you put your arms here,"

He patted the mat where he, apparently, was supposed to place his arms.

"Dude, chill. You're extremely tense for someone who's paying to relax." He added, smirking, but with a hint of concern in his eyes.

Tyler did what he was told, got set up and chuckled.

"Technically it's Jenna who's paying, but I'll do my best."

"Hm. That's nice of her. You're girlfriend, I assume?"

That made Tyler actually laugh.

"No no! Not at all. She's my best friend who loves to embarrass me. She made a bet with me and I lost, so now my punishment is the most cliché feminine thing she could think of, besides shopping."

Josh pulled Tyler's robe off, and Tyler made a squeaking noise as his ass was exposed to the cold air.  
(Not to mention a cute guy as well.)  
(A cute guy who chuckled at Tyler's embarrassed butt-clenching and squeaking.)

(Which made Tyler blush even more.)

"Relax, sir, it's just me in here, I've seen worse."  
He says as he (thankfully) covers his ass with a warm towel.

Tyler could FEEL his smirk in the dark.

"Please call me Tyler,  
I've never been a 'sir' in my life, I'm only 22."

"Gladly. Especially because I'm 23." Josh chuckled. "So, you lost a bet."

Thank every god ever for the change of subject.

"Yeah, I did. Screw women always being right, I guess."

"And you went along with this?"

"Well, I kinda had too."

"But, like, you're okay with the whole leg waxing and nail painting thing?"

Just then, Josh put some warm, beautiful smelling mixture that does God-knows-what on his back, massaging it in with the perfect amount of pressure that accidentally makes Tyler moan.

Which also made Josh laugh.

Goddamnit.

"Feel good?" He asked, laughing slightly.

"Fuck you, man. "  
Tyler laughed.  
"Yeah, uh, I don't mind any of that. Well, I'm not excited for the waxing, obviously, but, like..."  
Tyler was positive Josh could feel the warmth of embarrassment in his body.  
"I don't mind all the "feminine" stuff, so to speak."

"I know what you mean. But I can get you out of the waxing, if you like. I guarantee you it is NOT fun. When I first started cosmetology school, my friend Debby and I would practice on each other. It's awful."

"Or maybe she's awful?"

"Nah, she's talented." Josh chuckled.  
"I'm just hella hairy. Like the monster Rihanna or whoever sings about."

There was a moment of silence before both of them burst into laughter.

"Thanks for the offer, but I'll go with the waxing. I'm taking my punishment like a man. A girly, smooth-legged man, but a man." Tyler smirked, becoming very confident. "Am I stuck with you till we're done, or do you just massage?" Tyler joked.

"Nah, you're stuck with me."

"Well, then you'll go easy on me, right Joshie?"

In response, Josh rubbed right over his lower back hard, making Tyler gasp and sigh again, slightly louder.

Making Josh chuckle louder.

"Sure, I'll go easy on you, Ty."

Some silence passed before Tyler decided to speak again.

"How long have you been working here?"

"Oh, this is my first week. I just moved here from L.A."

"What on Earth made you trade L.A. For Columbus, Ohio?" Tyler asked.

"Well, I'm originally from here. I moved to L.A. For school."

Tyler hummed in reply.

"So, what do you do?" Josh asked.

Tyler's voice went soft.  
What if Josh thinks it's stupid?

"Oh. This is going to sound kinda dumb, but I studied music on a basketball scholarship." Tyler replied, sheepishly.

"That's actually really cool! So you write music?"

"Yeah, and I play."

"Play what?"

"Piano. And I sing a little. And, uh, I tried guitar and sucked, so I switched to the ukulele. As lame as it sounds-"

"Shut up! The uke's one of my favorites! It's adorable," Josh smirked, then finished,  
"almost like you."

_what_

_whAT_

_WHAT_

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah! Wait, really to you or to the uke?"

"Uh..." Tyler's face flushed, again, for the billionth time in a row.  
"I was referring to the uke, but if you think I'm adorable-"

Josh chuckled. "Sure you're adorable, no non-adorable guy makes noises like that." He said as he pushed into Tyler's thighs.

"Shut up" Tyler replies, softly and squeakily. Also hoping that Josh didn't notice his voice crack. Again.

"I play the drums and trumpet, so it's cool that you play stuff too."

"We should be in a band!"

Josh took a second to remove his hands and squirted on another good-smelling mixture, then placed his hands on Tyler's shoulders.

"What? Oh no no no no, my social anxiety wouldn't allow that."

Tyler snorted.  
"You have social anxiety?"

"Surprising, I know. But yes, in front of crowds it's awful."

Silence. Then after a few minutes, Josh chirped.

"Done!"

"What?"

"Massage. Done. You can get up now, I'll put this up and you can situate yourself on the chair over there. You can also put your underwear on under your robe, if you'd like."

"Sounds great, thanks."

_Or not great, no thanks, curse you and your existence you sexy beautiful hilarious piece of shi-_

"Sure. I'll be back."

The door shut, and Tyler did what he was told, thanking every god in existence for not giving him a hard-on.

  
How that happened, he had no idea.

When Josh came back, he was carrying a new basket, this one filled with new special oils and... wax strips.

Much to Tyler's disappointment.

"How many baskets do you have?"

"Enough. You'd be surprised what Asian beauty experts know. It's actually kinda terrifying, they could make a dead animal smell like a garden."

Josh sat on his knees in front of Tyler, applying wax to the strip and looked up at him.

"Now, you're sure you want to do this?"

"Yes. Let's for before I change my mind."

Josh put the warm wax on Tyler's leg and left it there for a little bit. Then, he grabbed the corner and looked up at Tyler with a cocky smirk. "Feel free to scream."

Tyler started to laugh, but it quickly evolved to a pitifully loud pterodactyl screech, Josh ripping the wax strip off of his leg, probably taking the skin off with it.

" _oh my gOD WHATTHEHELLIWASINNOWAYPREPAR_ EDFORTHIS-"

"Tyler."  
Josh looked up, absolutely sinful smirk on his face.  
"That was one. If I were kinky enough I'd make you count it yourself."

That made Tyler blush _really_ hard.

"And we're only going to the top of your thighs."  
Josh looked down and put the wax on another spot.

"Unless you want a Brazilian...."

" _NO_ nope nope not at all I am _FANTASTIC_ without that, thank you." Tyler babbled, slightly in shock from all the pain.

Who knew women could tolerate this much pain?  
Willingly?

Child birth aside, obviously.

10 minuets, two smooth, red legs and one teary-eyed, red faced Tyler later, the worst was finally over. Josh massaged his legs with some calming gel and oils before looking up at Tyler.

"Are you good?"

Tyler looked down at him, and laughed slightly possessed-like at the extreme pain that left him hysteric, and at the irony that he was laughing at ALL from the abuse on his poor legs.

"Yeah, no. That sucked."

_Kinda like you look like you're about to do right now..._

_Quit Tyler, now is not the time._

Josh stood up, gathering the essentials and putting them back in the basket, turning off the pot with the wax and gathering it too, probably to be cleaned.

"Yeah, I know. It gets better with time though, I promise."

"You're INSANE if you think I'm doing that shit again, Josh."

Josh tuned around, walking to the door, almost out of it before he turned around at the doorway and smirked.

"Really, your moaning seemed to disagree."

_GODDAMNIT, JOSH_

Tyler blushed, pretty sure he could identify as a tomato at this point, and Josh laughed.

"Anyway, sit over there and I'll paint your nails."

Then Josh turned his heel, chuckling down the hallway.  
  
Tyler walked over to the desk, praying the waxing served as an excuse for his red-face, while Josh soon came back and sat down at the desk with...

Surprise!

Another cute fucking basket.

"What's even in those, anyway?"

"Well..."  
Josh started, taking one of Tyler's (beautiful) hands, squirting some oil-feeling stuff on them,  
"This is lemongrass, petitgrain and mandarin, used for relieving stress, anxiety, muscle aches and insomnia. Judging from your occupations, I'm assuming you struggle with all the above?"  
He asked, slightly smirking and looking deep into Tyler's eyes.

Gosh, his _EYES_.

Tyler chuckled and looked away.  
"Yeah, you could say that."

When the oil was rubbed in, Josh started to massage all the way up to Tyler's elbow with a lotion.

"This is rose otto, it just moisturizes skin, making it softer."

"Hm" Tyler replies, totally NOT focusing on how a cute little red tongue pokes out of Josh's lips while he concentrates.

Okay, maybe he did see a little.

But that's besides the point.

When Josh finished the arm rubbing, he squirted a bit more lotion into his palm and went back to massaging Tyler's hands.

"Nice tattoos, by the way."

"Hm? Oh, thanks. Do you have any?"

"Yeah! Of course, you can't see it with this shirt on, but I have a forest on my right bicep."

"Oh, cool. Can I see it?"

"To do that I'll have to take my shirt off, which I don't do 'till the third date." The smooth-ass fucker said, adding on a wink.

 _A WINK_.

Tyler chuckled, heart thumping erratically in his entire body. Surely Josh could feel it in his wrist.

Then, Tyler takes a risk.

"Are you dating anyone?"

Josh finally decided Tyler's hands have had enough massage attention, so he begins to clip his cuticles instead.

"Nope. You?"

Tyler blushed a little.  
"Nah, I'm a pretty weird dude. I don't usually attract anyone, much less guys..."

Josh looked up at Tyler with gleaming eyes.  
"Really? From the impression you've given me today I'd think they'd follow you around like puppies."

"Well, I guess I might be a cat, then, because puppies  
don't seem to want a thing to do with me."

"Oh I wouldn't say that," Josh continued, clipping Tyler's nails now, "Usually us dogs are all over cute little kittens like yourself." Josh looked up again and winked, quickly returning to work.

Damn that fucker and his excellent winking skills.

By this point, Tyler just decided *fuck it* and went for the gold.

"You know, for a straight guy, you're a pretty good gay flirt."

"Yeah? Well for a gay guy, you have a pretty awful gaydar."

"Which is supposed to mean?"

"I like guys, man. Well, technically part of me does. I'm bi."  
Josh pulled his chair back to hand Tyler a little diagram of different color polishes.  
"Now, what color do you want your nails?"

"That dark blue is perfect, and for what you just said, I'm extremely close to asking you on a coffee date." Tyler smirked. "And I don't even know your last name."

"My last name's Dun, spelled D-U-N, and I'd love to grab a coffee with you."

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah. Hold still."

Josh began painting Tyler's nails, Tyler just sitting back with his new goal of trying to rile up the cute, bisexual beautician.

"Wow. Okay, um, what time?"

Josh hummed.  
"No idea. When we're done here I'll give you my number."

"Cool."

There was a pleasant silence covering the room, and since Tyler was a little bored with not being able to use his hands, he decided to take the view of Josh in, as much as he could anyway. Black skinny jeans that showed his ass off a bit too perfectly, a blue button-down shirt with sleeves tight enough to show off his biceps, classic black Vans and a red beanie to top it all off, as for clothing.

  
Don't even get Tyler started on his face, though. Tyler was so close that he could see every detail of Josh's face, right down to the hole that Tyler assumed was a labret piercing. He also had a nose ring as well.

  
But there's also the fact that when Josh smiled, he bit his tongue and his eyes crinkled.  
As if on cue, Josh decided it was too hot for his beanie, taking it off and tossing it aside, giving off a perfect view of his hair.  
And...

_Oh lord._

_Lord Jesus save us all._

_His HAIR._

Dyed such a perfect shade of red that it made his complexion look even _MORE_ perfect, if it was even possible. Gosh, Tyler wondered what it would be like to run his hands through that hair, it looked too soft and luxurious...

The room was silent before Tyler broke it with his new epiphany.

"Nice hair. It suits you."

Josh chuckled and muttered a thank you, clearly focused on finishing up the final coat on Tyler's last nail and then taking out one of those laser-dryer things.

"Stick your hands in there for 15 minutes, I'm going to put this up and get the spa ready."

"...and the spa is?"

"Basically a hot tub, but you don't wear clothes. So more like the child of a hot tub and a luxurious bubble bath-"

"-Uh, no thanks, I'm good..."

"Oh relax, no one's in there but me and the water has too many bubbles to see anything. You'll be fine."

"You're getting in, too?"

Josh snorted.  
"Hell no, I just pamper you with scents and all that. Although, if we were in Japan I'd be bathing you, so count your blessings. I'll be right back."

And with that he left, leaving Tyler alone with his anxiety and wet nails.

Tyler was in there, alone, for about 20 minuets, the dryer already dinged off and left Tyler sitting there, no idea what to do.  
Hoping to fill the awkward silence with something other than little digital bird screeching, he started humming as he played on his phone.

Finally, after what seemed close to and eternity, Josh came back.

"Sorry that took forever, there was another customer and her friend finishing up and taking longer than planned." Josh apologized. "Anyway, it's ready if you are. And your voice is excellent, by the way."  
Josh added with a smile.

Tyler blushed a tiny bit.  
"Thanks. What do I have to do?"

Josh scratched his neck, the position making him look like a fashion model.  
"Follow me!" Josh cheered, skipping down the hallway and greeting everyone he saw, getting a few comedic chuckles from the fellow employees and customers.  
Tyler just sprinting down, an idiotic grin on his face.

-____\\\|i|//____-

"Do I really HAVE to take off my clothes?"

"On a scale of one to ten, how uncomfortable are you getting naked in front of a guy who literally has done this a thousand times?"

"Eleven. And a half."

Josh sighed."Fine. I'll try to find something for you to wear."

Tyler smiled to himself over his little victory, which didn't last long before a speedo was thrown at him.

"That's the best I can do, deal with it. Come out when you're ready."

"Thanks. Aren't you hot with all those clothes on and the steam from the tub? What do you do if you get water all over you?" An evil smirk appears on Tyler's face as he continues. "What if I got you wet?"

"I have a change of clothes for both of the reasons you just said. And I'll be right back. Don't get in yet."

The spa looked magical. The water was dyed all kinds of beautiful colors. And the light from the window above was slightly nerve-wracking, but it made the room glow beautifully.

Also, bubbles.

They went up to Tyler's knees on the dry ground.

And God, it smelled like the garden of Eden.

It was marvelous.

Josh left and then quickly returned, dressed black shorts and a black kimono-like wrap for a shirt.

"Black is your color, huh?"  
Tyler asked, cocky smirk on his face.

"Well what can I say, not many colors look good with hair this dangerous." Josh laughs with a playful wink, then motions Tyler into the tub.

"That's a lie, every color goes with red if you try hard enough." Tyler replied, walking into the tub.

"Thanks, Barbie. Now, I have to give you a facial, pretend you didn't hear my accidental double entendre, so you're going to need to sit still."

"Oh Joshie, that sure was quick. I'll need you to meet my parents first..." Tyler carried on, with a terrible British accent, with a grin and awink.

Josh rolled his eyes and laughs along, getting the bowl ready and sitting behind Tyler, who immediatey laid back into the pillow on Josh's lap.

"Atta boy" Josh joked, and Tyler actually moaned when Josh began to apply the cream to his face.

When Josh finished with the cream, he leaned Tyler against the wall while he got up to grab the massage oil from the counter. Then, he reached behind Tyler to massage his shoulders, which made Tyler moan once again.

Which made Josh chuckle.

Which, honestly, is a sound Tyler could hear for the rest of his life.

"Does that feel okay?" Josh teased.

Tyler moaned softly. "Fantastic, thank you."

After what seemed like a second, but also an hour, which was probably 20 minutes, they finally washed off Tyler's face and body, then Josh left Tyler alone so they could both finish up in peace. Tyler went back into the room to find Josh cleaning up everything.

"Alright Ty, go ahead and put your clothes on, and meet me up front!"  
Josh said, chirpy as a bird on two cans of RedBull.

Tyler chuckled.  
"Sounds great."

-____\\\i//____-

Josh and Jenna and the Little Old Asian Woman were all talking, all of the waiting customers laughing along, by the time Tyler finally came into the front room.  
When Jenna saw Tyler, she immediately threw her arms around him.  
"So, Ty, it wasn't THAT bad, right?"  
Everyone in the room was staring at him, with a playful smiles on their faces. It was safe to assume that Jenna told them all the story.  
"Well, I'm not going to get hair on my legs for another two years, but yeah, it was great."  
The room erupted with laughter.

"Good! See, I told you it wasn't that bad! Let's go pay." She cheerily, walking to the counter.

This time, Josh stepped in behind the counter.  
"Oh no no no, I forbid it, Miss Black. It's on the house." He said smoothly, giving Tyler a wink before handing him a card.  
"Take care Mr. Joseph, hope those legs don't burn too bad when you get home!"

Jenna smiled and thanked him and the Little Old Asian Woman before walking out and into the car. When they finally pulled out of sight the first thing Tyler did was pull out the card and type the new number into his phone. He immediately sent Josh a text saying who it was, set his phone down and took a deep breath before Jenna started up.

"Alright Ty, I want every juicy little detail on what exactly happened in that spa room. Oh, and you smell nice, by the way. Calm is a great look for you."

 _Huh_ , Tyler thought.  
_Maybe those oils actually do work wonders_...

He totally forgot about stress the moment he felt Josh's hands on his body.

-____\\\i//____-

That night, Tyler had a fantastic nights sleep, one he hadn't had in years. He woke up at two pm to get ready to meet Josh at the coffee shop at 3.

He got ready with aching legs and a happy heart.

**Author's Note:**

> Haha.
> 
> I'm sorry.
> 
> But pls critique me I need help.


End file.
